Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
