Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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