her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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