i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
