It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
