im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
