All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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