my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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