ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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