He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
