yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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