Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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