Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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