this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
