been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
