the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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