He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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