Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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