first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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