Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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