you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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