I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
