I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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