I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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