4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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