im about as happy as oj after his trial
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it penis luge time yet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
and you fell through a lawn chair
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
