im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
