yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
