Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
