isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
