She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
