Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
