vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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