every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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