shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
