why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize