Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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