Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
