I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
