So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
