I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
