"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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