does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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