Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
