Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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