Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
