He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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