i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
