I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
