OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
