I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
