she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
