i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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