I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize