sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
