One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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