D3 body, D1 cock
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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