I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
