We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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