I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
