walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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