hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
