his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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