I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
