i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
