would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
