I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
