I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
