addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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