no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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